Cultivating Leadership Through Kindness
ERIN ARMSTRONG, CHIEF LEARNING OFFICERIf I would have been asked at the beginning of my first year as a school administrator what my core leadership values were, I’m not sure I would have been able to provide an honest answer. In fact, I don’t know that I truly understood what I was stepping into as a twenty-something year old principal in a school with tenured, very experienced educators. I was intimidated by the wealth of knowledge and experience in the school and quickly second-guessed everything I had ever learned about leadership. I knew right away I needed to get the staff to trust me and I worked to do that in the best way I knew how- through kindness. I greeted every teacher, every day in their classrooms with a smile and connection conversation. I learned who their families were and what hobbies they enjoyed outside of work. I also learned being kind paid off big time to the staff members I thought would be the toughest to win over. Outside of our daily check-ins, I showed kindness through an open door policy and bringing snacks to staff meetings and PLCs. All of this work was intentionally built into my daily practice and routine as a new school leader.
Kindness as a leadership strategy is a powerful approach to building stronger, more cohesive teams and fostering a positive school culture. In education, where relationships and collaboration are key to moving the needle on student and teacher attendance and academics, leading with kindness can serve as a catalyst for change.
Leading a school or a team with kindness to build a culture of belonging is like tending to a garden. Each member—teachers, students, staff—is a unique plant in the garden, with different needs for sunlight, water, and nutrients to grow. As the leader, your role is the gardener, tending to the growth of the garden daily. If you haven’t tried your hand at gardening, it takes patience and understanding, along with trial and error when battling Oklahoma’s forces of nature! Rather than tossing seeds and hoping for the best; as the gardener, you take the time to nurture each plant, understanding its specific needs, and giving it the right care.
Kindness is the water that nourishes the garden. It helps the roots of trust grow deep, ensuring that plants have a strong foundation. Just as you water plants consistently and routinely, kindness needs to be shown regularly through small, thoughtful actions—listening, supporting, and acknowledging efforts. Throughout these small actions, trust develops when people feel genuinely cared for by their leader. Over time, this can lead to improved collaboration, honesty, and loyalty across the school team.
When leaders provide the conditions to support a climate of kindness, like planting the seeds in just the right spot with the right amount of sunlight, it creates an environment where all can flourish. Plants may face droughts or storms, just as people face challenges, but when a garden is well cared for, it becomes resilient and will continue to thrive. When leaders set the example and model kindness, it encourages staff and students to also do the same. When the school culture is rooted in kindness, it builds resilience in people, reduce negativity, help avoid conflicts, and promote a sense of community and belonging where all feel safe and supported.
In a thriving garden, plants don't just grow alone—when well cared for, they spread out, intertwine, and support each other. By leading with kindness, leaders encourage collaboration, respect, and a sense of community, where everyone works together to help the garden—and the school—bloom.
It’s been 13 years since I first had the opportunity to serve as a school administrator and my core leadership values today embrace kindness, relationships, trust, and integrity. As a district leader, I’ve seen how kindness contributes to creating a positive and welcoming environment, building trust and cultivating relationships and enabling my team to engage in courageous conversations. When leaders set the example and model kindness, it encourages staff and students to also do the same. This can ultimately reduce negativity, help avoid conflicts, and promote a sense of community and belonging where all feel safe and supported. Leaders, pour into your garden daily, and you’ll be able to reap the benefits.
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ERIN ARMSTRONG
Erin Armstrong is the Chief Learning Officer at Tulsa Public Schools. She oversees the PreK-12 academic teams, including special education, language and cultural services, and student and family support services. Erin has also served as the executive director of teaching and learning, director of assessment, school leader, literacy coach, and classroom teacher in Tulsa Public Schools.