Discover the transformative power of kindness in the classroom in The Science of Kindness. Backed by cutting-edge neuroscience, this post explores how acts of kindness release neurotransmitters like oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, which reduce stress, boost cognitive function, and foster a culture of connection. Dive into actionable strategies to create a kindness-centered environment that enhances student engagement, promotes social-emotional learning, and supports academic success. Learn how small acts of kindness can make a big impact on your classroom and beyond.

In today’s complex world, educational leaders face numerous challenges that go beyond test scores and academic standards. Schools are not only places of learning but also communities where students, educators, and families come together, each with their own needs, hopes, and challenges. As school leaders, we are responsible for more than the administrative functions of our schools; we must also create cultures that prioritize kindness, empathy, and inclusion.

Kindness in leadership is about more than being “nice” or approachable—it’s about building authentic connections, making decisions with empathy, and creating environments where every individual feels valued and empowered. This article explores the transformative potential of kindness in educational leadership and provides actionable strategies to help school leaders foster a culture of respect, trust, and compassion.

More than ever, school leaders are seeking ways to encourage kind actions and calm atmospheres within their school communities. As a middle school principal, I have spent years trying to find the magic solution to combat behavior incidents that interfere with learning opportunities and buffer the impact of negative challenges many students experience outside of school. Research indicates that educators who model problem-solving and relationship-building behaviors also help students minimize disruptive behaviors, so fewer interruptions to teaching and learning occur (Blitz et al., 2016).

During the last five years, trauma-responsive school strategies have provided an option within the middle school I lead. They have served as an antidote to students' negative experiences and offered ways teachers can create school environments that prioritize safety, emotional well-being, and healthy relationships. Trauma-informed school practices provide a unique opportunity for educators to immerse students into learning environments that insulate them from negativity and inundate their school experiences with consistently positive influences (Blitz et al., 2016; O'Gorman, 2018). Enhancing skills in kindness and compassion are outcomes educators can promote by consistently utilizing trauma-responsive school strategies within their classrooms and school communities. 

Let’s be real: no one got into education just to drown in data! Yet, when used with kindness, trust, and transparency, data can truly transform our schools. Building a positive data culture means making data accessible, breaking down barriers with clear communication, and valuing each voice in the process. It’s about using data to foster collaboration, support growth, and make meaningful improvements. From creating a “data democracy” to celebrating diverse perspectives, let’s make data a tool for empowerment—not a chore.

As we flip from October to November, the countdown to World Kindness Day reminds us: what if kindness wasn’t just one day, but a way of life? In her heartfelt blog, Barbara Gruener invites us to make kindness a year-round practice. Through empathy, compassion, and action, she shows how small, intentional acts of kindness can change lives. Reflecting on lessons from her 4-H pledge and decades of experience, Barbara reveals that empathy is the “why” behind kindness, inspiring us to make compassion a mindset and kindness a habit.

Friendships boost the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the "love hormone," which fosters feelings of bonding and trust. This hormone not only makes us feel more connected but also lowers stress and anxiety, promoting emotional stability. Friendships also increase serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of happiness and well-being.

In the early 20th century, a common belief held that all young people possessed inherent potential for greatness. Adults were seen as the cultivators of this potential, tasked with nurturing a “youthful spirit” capable of growth and positive transformation. However, as the century progressed, youth development shifted, eventually moving towards a “deficit model” that focused on identifying and fixing perceived flaws rather than building upon strengths. Today, we are experiencing a resurgence in positive youth development approaches focused on resilience and strengths-based support. This “mindset shift from fixing flaws to finding strengths” underscores the notion that young people are inherently resilient and intelligent and that it is the job of educators, caregivers, and communities to help them realize these strengths through supportive relationships and opportunities (Brendtro et al., 2002).

The Circle of Courage framework, grounded in Indigenous principles, aligns well with the science of kindness and social-emotional learning (SEL). This model identifies four universal needs essential for positive development: belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity (Brendtro et al., 2002). When these needs are met, children develop resilience and a stronger sense of self. However, the modern landscape often lacks the communal structures that once supported these needs, leading to significant gaps in youth development. By integrating kindness with the Circle of Courage framework, we can rebuild these critical support systems, fostering resilience and healthy social connections among young people.

Kindness, connection, and emotional well-being are more than just feel-good principles. They are foundational to fostering divergent thinking, enhancing creativity, and unlocking the Pygmalion effect. By believing in others, leading with kindness, and creating environments where people feel safe and supported, we can inspire the best in others and ourselves.

The beauty of leading with these values is that it creates a ripple effect. When one person feels seen, heard, and valued, they are more likely to extend that kindness and belief to others. In classrooms, workplaces, and communities, this ripple effect can transform not only individual lives but also entire cultures.

As the journey continues, emotional resilience has emerged as a vital theme in the development of effective leadership. Resilience—defined as the ability to not only recover from setbacks but to transform challenges into opportunities for growth—is a cornerstone of leadership. Adam Grant (2021) reframes resilience as “not just bouncing back from adversity but bouncing forward.” This powerful shift in perspective resonated deeply with the students, who began to view their struggles as stepping stones toward becoming more capable, adaptable leaders.

Resiliency theory supports this shift, emphasizing that the ability to thrive in the face of adversity is shaped by both internal and external factors that cultivate strength and perseverance. Characteristics like personal competence, problem-solving abilities, and strong social support networks are crucial in fostering resilience (Masten, 2014). For the students, setbacks were no longer perceived as failures, but as critical experiences that build resilience and enhance leadership capacity. The discomfort they faced was recontextualized as a necessary element of growth, aligning with resiliency theory’s assertion that adversity fuels development, preparing leaders for future challenges.

One of the most important lessons I've learned is the need to manage my reactiveness. As a "ready, fire, aim" kind of person, my doing center has always been dominant. I've spent years working to bring my feeling center into balance with it, which required me to push myself to be more aware of what I was actually feeling in my heart and body. I learned to interrupt my gut instinct to respond and react by pausing and embracing curiosity.

Being intentional about who I wanted to be in meetings helped me to tune into the emotions of the individuals in the room and lean into curiosity to better understand what was truly on the hearts and minds of those around the table. As I learned to be more humble, curious, and present, new perspectives emerged, and I gained a deeper understanding of the tensions in the challenges we were facing.

By pausing and disrupting the tendency to react or respond immediately, I created space to manage myself, which also created more space for others. My decision-making improved, and more importantly, I shifted the heavy burden I often carried alone to others, creating shared responsibility and empowering those who needed to make and own the decisions to do so.

¡Si soy de aquí, y si soy de allá!

It’s the perfect sentence that can set the tone for creating a space for equity that includes multilingual students in our current educational landscape, a landscape that often fails to recognize and support the unique needs of these beautiful students. As a bilingual teacher who has always worked on Title I campuses for decades, I had the privilege of engaging in the process of educating many newcomers. My empathy for many of my students was based on my funds of knowledge. My grandparents practically raised me as my mom had to work long hours to support the family. During the hours spent with them, I had the fortune to be exposed to telenovelas from different countries while in the care of my grandma, and I truly believe I became multicultural in the process.  As a result, I learned about many customs, languages, and cultural traits from Venezuela, Colombia, Mexico, Chile, and even from the Middle East. I remember the telenovela El Clon like yesterday, as I was fascinated by many Middle Eastern customs back then. Also, in Puerto Rico, a Caribbean island where I am from, it was customary to be around people from different countries, as they used the island as a trampoline to arrive in the mainland United States. My interaction with people from different countries helped me valued their beautiful traits. Never in a million years would I have thought that my previous experiences would have become an asset in my future career as an educator. For my students’ advantage, I used my previous experiences to connect with them as I understood that everything was very different for them in the United States. 

In the fast-paced world of education, it’s easy to overlook the human element—what makes schools thrive—when starting new initiatives. Principals who lead with kindness, empathy, and understanding are poised for greater success. This blog explores the transformative power of kindness in leadership and provides practical advice for integrating empathy into leadership teams, particularly during new initiatives.

Tennessee Williams once said, “All cruel people describe themselves as paragons of frankness.” This truth is all too familiar. We’ve heard it; we’ve seen it. The world is full of people proudly proclaiming, “I just tell it like it is; that’s just who I am. Sorry if you’re offended. I have boundaries.” But I’m here to push back on that mindset. Just because you have boundaries doesn’t mean you need to abandon compassion. A dog-eat-dog world is not inevitable. We can coexist, disagree, and even clash while remaining respectful. And we must teach our children that it is possible to handle conflict with grace and empathy.

As a teacher working with kids ages 11 to 15, I’ve seen the impact of recent challenges like the pandemic, tech addiction, and social isolation on our young people. Many come into the classroom without the skills to engage in healthy conversations or constructive discourse. They’re hungry for connection but lack the tools to communicate effectively. And while we, as educators, are bound by various constraints, this is one area where we can make a difference. Teaching humanity isn’t a one-time lesson or a checkbox on a curriculum standard. It’s a daily commitment, one that we have to reinforce over and over again if we want it to stick.

Kindness as a leadership strategy is a powerful approach to building stronger, more cohesive teams and fostering a positive school culture. In education, where relationships and collaboration are key to moving the needle on student and teacher attendance and academics, leading with kindness can serve as a catalyst for change.

Leading a school or a team with kindness to build a culture of belonging is like tending to a garden. Each member—teachers, students, staff—is a unique plant in the garden, with different needs for sunlight, water, and nutrients to grow. As the leader, your role is the gardener, tending to the growth of the garden daily. If you haven’t tried your hand at gardening, it takes patience and understanding, along with trial and error when battling Oklahoma’s forces of nature! Rather than tossing seeds and hoping for the best; as the gardener, you take the time to nurture each plant, understanding its specific needs, and giving it the right care.

Many think of a kind leader as constantly nodding in agreement, conflict-avoidant, and those who will not rock the boat for everybody’s comfort. Agreeing to go along just to get along is not what kindness in leadership is about—especially transformational leadership. In transformational leadership, the end goal is change (for the better). Kindness in leadership, in this case, is crucial, but it is the willingness to have the tough talks, tackle the teacher silos, and make unpleasing but necessary calls that shape a positive school culture and climate.

Educational leadership is a dynamic and challenging role that requires balancing compassion, effective management, and high standards of professionalism. One critical yet sometimes overlooked attribute of effective leaders is kindness. Ryon (2013) described kindness as a genuine act aimed solely at helping others, rather than fulfilling social expectations. Kindness in leadership doesn’t mean lowering standards or being overly lenient; rather, it involves demonstrating understanding, empathy, and respect while fostering a culture of support and excellence.

The meaning of "kindness" can vary for different people. Personally, I believe that in leadership, being clear is kind. I value transparency and knowing the truth about my work and what’s expected of me now and in the future. In education, leadership goes beyond managing resources and achieving goals. While those are essential tasks, they aren’t what motivates a staff. Instead, leadership is about inspiring educators and students to reach their full potential and pushing them when needed. Leaders—whether principals, department heads, or district administrators—shape the culture of a school or district. Transparency in leadership promotes kindness by clearly communicating goals and expectations. A culture of kindness fosters collaboration, trust, and belonging, which are essential for both teachers and students to thrive.

Today’s lesson: Kindness is more than just a feeling but rather a way of life. Being kind is something we all should do for everybody. We expect it, so if we expect it, we should be offering it to others too, right? What does being kind to another person actually entail? Have you thought about it? If not, why not? Let’s break down what being kind means and discover how simple acts of kindness can start a ripple effect leading to world peace. It starts with you—be kind to yourself, be kind to others, be kind to everything around you. Dive into today’s lesson on turning kindness into a daily practice.

Learning to read and write isn’t just a mental process, but one influenced by students’ feelings, experiences, relationships, and overall well-being. When students feel safe and supported, they are more likely to be motivated and engaged. This takes me back to Maslow's hierarchy of needs—our foundational needs must be met. We must feel safe and know that we belong before we can tackle complex situations, embrace failure, or face fears. It’s essential to know that someone cares about us and that we are in a trusting, safe space to take risks.

Media literacy is the ability to access, analyze, evaluate, and create media in various forms. It empowers students to think critically about the information they view and to make informed decisions based on facts rather than opinions or falsehoods.

As traditional television news habits change, social media platforms and online news websites are a primary source of information for many young people. The ability to sift through vast amounts of content, identify reliable sources, and detect bias is crucial. Media literacy not only enhances students' critical thinking skills but also fosters a healthy skepticism toward questionable content.

Erin Patton, a middle level educator, dives into the power of kindness during parent-teacher conferences. She provides insights, tips, tricks, and proactive measures you can take to ensure that conferences are intentional and a positive experience for all.