Kindness makes the world go round and being kind is the easiest and hardest thing in the world to do. One of my many jobs is I am a certified life coach for individuals and companies and every week, I write a short lesson for each and every one of my clients.

Some of these lessons (which will also be in an upcoming book) are:

You are enough,
100% of your bad days you have already overcome,
realize that patience is your friend and not your enemy,
you may not know it but somebody looks up to you,
it is not a bad day but a bad thing that has happened in your day,
and so many more.

With the understanding of what I do, this blog is intended to read the same way that it would for my client. I start each one with “Today’s lesson,” but keep in mind that this could be tomorrow’s lesson, next week, next month, next year, every day or however you choose to utilize this lesson about kindness.

Today’s lesson:

Kindness is more than just a feeling but rather a way of life.

Being kind is something we all should do for everybody. We expect it, so if we expect it, we should be offering it to others too, right? What is being kind to another person? Have you actually thought about it and what all it entails? If so, amazing. What did it look like? If not, why not?

When you watch Miss Universe, what is something that almost every contestant asks for? World peace, right? You do understand that world peace starts with the simple act of kindness. Kindness to yourself! Kindness to others! Kindness to animals! Kindness to the Earth! Kindness to all and everything!

As a certified life coach, positive psychology practitioner, motivational speaker and an author, I deal with this topic quite a bit. Let us break down being kind and what all it entails so we can make sure we all understand what being kind means. I work with so many people that need to understand this topic, but the best way I have seen to deal with it, is taking away being kind to them. Try this with yourself; this way you are not negatively affecting another person. I want you to read this post and be unkind to yourself. I want you to try these things:

Do not treat yourself to something you want (no matter how much you deserve it).
Do not tell yourself that you are doing a good job (no matter if you are or not).
Do not be the first person in line or to go through a door or anything first (even if you do indeed arrive first).
Do not allow yourself to make a decision for simple things such as what meal to eat with friends that day or drinks to have (no matter how hungry or thirsty you are for something in particular). This does not mean to not eat or drink, but rather let others choose this for you.
Do not throw your trash away in the trash can at home (no matter how close you are to it or how clean it would make your house).

Have you done these things? If so, how do you feel?

These are just some examples of ways you can take away kindness from yourself. Can you think of others? I often ask questions like this, which I want to know an answer to. If possible, when you see a question like this, I want you to message me and let me know what you think and how you feel about it. In this case, what are other ways you can think of being unkind? It limits things you want and like, does it not? I know these examples are not exactly things we will do normally, but it gives you an idea of kindness that we take for granted on a regular basis.

Now let us focus on kindness in a different way. What about being kind to yourself and others? What are some ways that can look? Let us make another list…here it goes:

Donate to a worthy cause (worthy is in the eye of the beholder here, but pick out something you find worthy and donate to it…anything that you feel you can get behind).
Show respect to someone (no matter what if you agree with them or not and yes I do know this one can be hard depending on who that person may be, but try and challenge yourself on this one and offer kindness to somebody you may not normally be kind to).
Volunteer somewhere you feel passionate about (giving is so good, but only when you can).
Pay it forward (self-explanatory on this one).
Share a laugh with someone (laughter is the best medicine…and they say this for a reason).

Did you do any of these things? If so, which ones did you do? Do you have other ways to show being kind that you would want to pursue, or better yet that you did pursue? This is a great time again to message me and let me know about it, because I want to hear how you have been kind. Not only how, but how did it make you feel? Also, how do you think the recipient felt?

Being kind does not know an age, gender, religion, culture, sexual orientation or anything. Being kind is, and should be, done on a regular basis with anybody and everybody. If you do not think being kind is imperative in this life, then look around you. Animals even do it amongst themselves. If they can be kind, then why can we not be kind?

I use my daughter often in my examples, and today is going to be no exception.

When my daughter was younger, she would come home from school, almost every day, with a new “friend.” (We all know why “friend” is in quotation marks, right?) We would visit the park on weekends and make five new “friends” every time. We would swim at the local pool and have yet another new “friend.”

My daughter would make friends everywhere we would go, or rather she would go. Do you happen to know why?

If you said it is because she was being kind to others, then you are right. She did not see people as weird, strange, different, ugly, mean or anything of that nature. She did not see age, gender, religion, political beliefs, color, sexual orientation or anything like that. Instead, she saw every single person as people. She then treated each person with none other than kindness. She opened her mind and heart to those around her. Then she would offer them a hand, and play with them until she told me about her new “friends” that she did indeed make. As she got older, I have found that she still does that, but as a kid she did it more often. Now she has more actual friends (not just random “friends” that she has made) and due to that, wants to spend more time with them and talk to them. The random people from parks and school she still is kind to and smiles with, but it is not the same. As we grow up, this is how we are too. We let our world, our environment, our culture, our education, our religion, our family/friends and literally everything in our lives alter how we see the world. Even as we grow though, it does not mean that we have to be unkind to others. If you choose to do that, it is indeed just that…a choice. I will be the first to call you out stating that this is indeed the wrong choice you are making. You can still show kindness to anybody and everybody, and you should. Luckily, my daughter has kept that going and as she gets older and older. I am hoping those values of hers never waiver.

I often use the expression that our kids are a reflection of ourselves. I like to think that my daughter is indeed that. If that is so, then it shows me that I am portraying kindness in my life as she is to others. This means that I have made kindness a part of my life, and hers. Where are you on that spectrum?

I make daily inspirational/motivational videos, in addition to all that I do. I end every single video with my catchphrase which is #yougotthis. I even went so far as to publish one of my books that way. Do you know why I use that? Truly, any thoughts? I know this is not a back and forth conversation (unless you e-mail me), but imagine it is. When you give me your answer then continue reading on.

Are your ready to read on?

Ok! Now that you have given me your answer, it is time for me to give you my reasoning. I say #yougotthis, because every single person in this world can do anything that they want and should. Yes I do know there are limitations on some things, but there is always a way to work around almost all of these. With that being said, I want you to not only know, but also believe that you can do anything you want and believe that you do indeed got this in your life, especially being kind. Start with yourself first, because we all know that we are the most unkind to ourselves. If you know RuPaul, you now the famous phrase he says “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love anybody else?” Well, let us use that here but let us change a couple of words. After we do that, I want you to repeat that as your mantra moving forward from this day on. Before I replace those words, with your new mantra, I want to thank you all. Thank you for being a part of this and should you ever want to check out my books, daily videos or reach out for anything, I have attached my information under my signature as I will sign off on this like an actual letter. Saying that, here is your new mantra, and don’t forget #yougotthis!

The new mantra for myself, you and anybody is: If you can’t be kind to yourself, then how are you going to be kind to others!

Sincerely,

Jayke Brown

Interested in being a future guest blogger? Reach out today! (Click here) We’d love to have you as part of “The Kind Voice!”

Are you receiving our weekly e-newsletter full of motivation, encouragement, and positivity? Subscribe today!

Are you ready to transform your school and/or workplace?
Check out the FREE resource: Cultivating Compassion - Building Kinder Schools and Workplaces

Looking for Gen Z/Gen Alpha workshops or training on bullying prevention? Read the testimonials here from others’ experiences. Would love to help you and your team; reach out today!

Kindness as a Lifestyle: Lessons from a Life Coach

JAYKE BROWN

Kindness as a Lifestyle: Lessons from a Life Coach

JAYKE BROWN

The Role of Kindness in Educational Leadership

Boosting Literacy Through Kindness